


getting it back to good

by sleeepybear



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depression, Emetophobia, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Falling In Love, Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Medication, Memory Loss, Past Violence, Slow Burn, akira is also trying, like a lot of crying, sae is trying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-10-14 17:05:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17512529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleeepybear/pseuds/sleeepybear
Summary: Goro Akechi's somehow managed to crawl out of the pits of the Metaverse, a dead man walking.Oh yeah, and he can't remember a thing about the past year.(Three months after the game ends and the Phantom Thieves are victorious.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I will warn you now. As this is post game, there are *MAJOR* game end spoilers. If you still haven't finished Persona 5, and don't wanna be spoiled, leave now. 
> 
> on to the first chapter-
> 
> (not beta-d!)

There's something strangely soothing about laying on your floor, staring up at the ceiling, watching dust illuminated by sun beams float by.   
  
Speaking of dust, it's really dusty down here.   
  
Goro Akechi. That’s his name, at least, that’s what Sae told him. Doesn’t really feel like *his* name, you know?   
  
It's been 3 months since whatever Sae dubbed ‘The Incident’ happened. It sucks, she knows more about him then he even knows about himself. Whatever the incident was, it had wiped his brain. Total reset. Years of memories just erased like they mean nothing. Considering the way Sae looks at him sometimes, her gaze full of pity and a touch of fear, maybe that’s a good thing.   
  
He’s alone, for the most part. Sae drops by sometimes to make sure he's still alive and to try to convince him to go to therapy, but, she never manages much with him. Even after getting this second chance at life, apparently the trait of stubbornness held over. Or maybe he was an agreeable person, before. Who knows? Certainly not him, thats who.   
  
He sneezes, wiping his nose and rolling over onto his stomach. What was the point of him even being here, anyway? It's like the universe chewed him up and spit him out, taking a piece of him with it, that he has to fill with prescriptions and worried looks from the one person in his life. Maybe she could stop by more often. Work is a thing, and she has to support his useless ass now, and a sister she’s mentioned once and he’s never met, but.   
  
There's a knock at the door.   
  
_ Sae, back so soon? She has a key. She can just come in. _   
  
Oh yeah. He’s a part of the package too. A lovely voice in his head to go along with all of his other problems, affectionately nicknamed Inner Goro. He hasn’t anyone about him, which just means he hasn’t told Sae yet.   
  
**KNOCK KNOCK.** ****  
**  
** It's a little louder this time. He should go open the door. 

 

But who else could it possibly be, if not his caretaker?   
  
After a few seconds of debating with himself, he gets up, walking over to the door and peeking through the little peephole to see who decided to come by. If it's the building management again, he’ll just ignore them, and slip Sae’s card under the door.   
  
It's.. not building management.   
  
It's a boy, maybe his age, with a mess of black hair on his head that looks both like he woke up like that, and like he put a lot of effort into it. Thick rimmed glasses bring attention to the boys eyes, and his face is slightly distorted because of the peephole, but it's easy to see that he’s actually pretty cute. Shit.   
  
He unlatches the two locks he has, opening the door just a crack. The black haired boy peers through at him, a smile splitting his face. 

 

“Who are you?” Goro can get a better look at him now, and yep, his hypothesis is confirmed. He is definitely cute. Which makes this worse for him, since he hasn’t interacted with a single boy or girl his age. Well, not that he can remember.   
  
_ He certainly looks like a charmer. That makes him dangerous. _   
  
Of course, he knows that, he’s not a total idiot.   
  
“What do you mean, ‘who are you?’ You know me, Goro.” The smile is slowly fading off the boys face, making room for a more troubled look. He quickly swaps out that disappointed face for a more neutral, polite smile. So he’s a good actor. Great.   
  
“No, I don’t. I don’t know. Maybe we’ve met in passing.”    
  
He’s never seen this kid before in his known life, and he doesn’t leave the house. No way he met him just out on the street, or something.   
  
_ He knows our name. _   
  
Well duh, again, not a total idiot.   
  
_ That means he knew you from before. _   
  
So?   
  
_ He has answers. _   
  
He hates it when that damn voice is right. Which, it always is.   
  
“Oh. I’m sorry to bother you then.” His polite smile drops off his face entirely, turning into a more stony expression. This guy goes through feelings faster than a theatre major goes through masks.   
  
Oh wait, he’s going to leave. That's no good. This is his one opportunity to actually get a straight answer out of someone.   
  
“W-wait, should I know you?”

  
The boy stops in the middle of turning away to go back the way he came.   
  
“Yes. You were a teammate of mine, but.. It's not important. I’m sorry to bother you.”   
  
Goro narrows his eyes at him. “I didn’t play sports.”   
  
“It wasn’t sports.” The boy answers smoothly, and now his face isn’t giving away a single thing. “Like I said, not important.”   
  
“I guess not.” Akechi hesitates for a moment, before adding, “Are you going to stand there all day, or come inside?” He asks, opening the door enough to allow the other boy through.   
  
_ You can’t just keep calling him ‘boy’. _   
  
Yes, he can.   
  
_ I’ll call him ‘Messy.’ _ __  
__  
No you will *not* be doing that, actually.   
  
__ Try and stop me.   
  
Have you ever wanted to punch your own brain?    
  
Messy blinks, seemingly surprised. “You aren’t telling me to leave?”   
  
Goro shakes his head. “Not like I have anything better to do.” And opens the door even more, stepping away. Messy goes right through, and closes the door behind him. At least he has manners. He yawns, just as Messy sits himself down on Goro’s favorite ‘lay down on the floor’ spot.   
  
“Have you been sleeping?”   
  
“Yeah.”   
..   
  
“Have you been sleeping *often*?”   
For some reason, he has a worried glint in his eye.   
  
“Yeah.”   
He sleeps, but it's not like he sleeps well. He’s already taking so many pills, adding ones for insomnia could ruin everything.   
“I don’t want your pity.”   
  
“Who said I was pitying you?”   
  
“Your face, you looked all sad. I’ve been doing really well.”

  
He hasn’t been.

 

“It's been like this for a month or two, so I’m used to it.”   
  
It's been three months, two weeks, and two days. It doesn’t get better.   
  
“I’m fine.”   
  
He’s not.   
  
“You aren’t fine. I know it for a fact.” Messy shrugs, and for some reason, it makes him mad.   
  
“You don’t know me.”   
  
“I don’t know you *now*, but I did before.”   
  
Goro just scowls, sitting on the couch. It's not as good as the floor. He opens his mouth to say something hopefully super clever and scathing, but--   
  
**_BEEP BEEP BEEP-_ **   
  
His alarm goes off.    
  
Time to take those little tablets that keep him from… who knows, actually, he’s not even sure what half of these do.   
  
He gets up, heading to the kitchen without a word. He can feel the other boy’s eyes on his back as he goes. He dry swallows the pills, since he’s too lazy to get water, and grimaces as they go down. Disgusting.   
  
To his surprise, when he returns, his new--   
  
_ Don’t you dare say friend. _

  
\--Acquaintance is… gone.    
He just up and left, without so much as a goodbye. It shouldn't bother him. It shouldn’t.    
  
It does.   
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Goro googles himself, leaves the house on his own, and finds himself in an oddly familiar place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I posted a chapter yesterday, but I just can't wait, I really want to share this stuff! Is there such a thing as have too much motivation? haha,, ^^; 
> 
> anyway, please enjoy!
> 
> (not beta'd)

He can’t believe he hasn’t thought of this before.   
  
Sae gave him a phone, mostly for emergencies. Not like he has many people to call or text, and having social media is strictly forbidden. Not that he hasn’t tried to connect to the world, but Sae’s got some sort of blocker on it, he can’t get past it no matter how hard he tries, which isn’t very hard. He doesn’t like putting energy into things that are useless. What would he even do with accounts, talking to people in the world? Nothing, that’s what. Too lazy to bother.   
  
But what he didn’t think of, googling himself.   
  
Goro Akechi was his name before ‘the incident’ as well, as far as he knows. So why hasn’t he googled his name and seen what popped up yet?   
  
_ Laziness, fear of what we might find, no motivation. _

 

Oh, right, that. Anyway.   
  
He types his name into the search bar, and hits ‘search’, waiting for it to load. It takes forever, since this phone is seemingly ancient, but oh well. At least it has a touch screen.   
  
He starts scrolling through the results.

_ A charming detective that seems to have risen and fallen in popularity. _ __   
__   
_ Known as the second detective prince, after someone named Naoto Shirogane. _ __   
__   
_ This well-put-together person... _ __   
_ This isn't us. _ __   
__   
He frowns. There's a memory, or something, scratching at the back of his brain, he can almost reach out and grab it, and--   
It just flows between his fingers like sand, and before he knows it, it's gone completely. Damn.   
  
Other than his basic information, there's not too much out there. Sae must’ve covered it up, or done something to his phone knowing he would think of this eventually.   
  
_ Crafty bitch. _ __   
__   
Hey now, no need for that kind of language. She takes care of him. She’s all he has.   
  
Frustrated, he gets up off the floor where he was laying (again) and throws the phone, whipping it against his couch cushions so hard his shoulder stings, which is the only satisfying part. All it does is bounce onto the floor, without a scratch.    
  
_ Sure, that felt nice, but if you injure yourself that’ll be boring. _ __   
__   
Oh, and what would the voice in his head like to suggest?   
  
_ Leave. Go somewhere. No one is here to stop us. _ __   
__   
..Now that’s a thought.    
  
Suddenly the apartment is feeling much too small. Leaving isn’t a choice, now, it's a necessity.   
  
Akechi grabs his key, shoving them in his hoodie pocket, along with his phone. He’s got to go now, before nerves make him hesitate. He leaves the apartment, avoiding the elevator. Closed spaces are not for him, and he doesn’t need that right now. Or ever.

  
_ Pull on our hoodie. You don’t need attention. No putrid eyes need to look our way. _ __   
__   
That’s a dramatic way of putting it, but good idea. He pulls his hoodie on, sticking his hand in his pocket, fiddling with his key. He gets out onto the street, and is hit by the loud traffic and all the talking instantly. Makes him want to go back inside, but he’s made it this far, hasn’t he?    
  
_ It's all pointless noise. Tune it out. _ __   
__   
He can do that. Just concentrates on the cold metal of his house key.    
  
Akechi walks along the streets of Tokyo, avoiding bumping into people at all costs. It's more difficult than it sounds. He just starts turning down roads, streets, no idea where he’s going.    
  
Why does it all feel familiar?    
  
He starts taking a closer look at his surroundings. It's quiet. Almost serene, for such a big city. Not too many people on the small streets.   
  
_ That way. _ __   
__   
Being far from home is not the time to doubt the voice in his head, so he turns right, down a little side street.   
  
Something makes him glance over at one particular building.   
  
“L.. Le..”   
  
__ Blanc is French for white.   
  
Who’d name their cafe ‘the white?’ That’s.. Stupid. Something wants him to go in there, and who is he to dispute the feelings in his gut?    
  
Why is his heart beating so fast?   
  
Why does it feel like he’s walked this exact path many times before?

  
Goro pushes the door open, a little bell jingles to announce his presence, nearly making him jump out of his skin.   
  


It's a quiet little place, the only noise is the tv on low volume, droning on about current news.   
  
“Oh. I didn’t think you’d come here.”   
  
He was so caught up in all the little details he didn’t even see the guy standing behind the counter.   
  
_ Guess he works here. _ __   
__   
How are you not freaking out about this too?   
  
Messy smiles. “Welcome. Can I get you some coffee?”

 

No. No no no no.   
He turns around, grabbing onto the handle of the door. He’s got to go, he can be here, it's wrong--   
  


“W-wait, don’t go yet!”   
  
_ Wait. _   
  
If the voice in his head agrees, then, maybe…   
  
“Just sit down for one cup of coffee. Just the way you like it.”   
  
“..I don’t drink coffee.”   
  
“Try it. You used to like it.”   
  
_ Used to. _

 

What’s the harm in trying.. Not like he has to say anything, right? Have coffee and then leave. 

 

God, if only it was that easy.

 

He slowly forces himself to let go of the door handle, and turn around. Akechi has to just focus on putting one foot in front of the other, forcing himself to sit down at the counter and tries to act like a normal human being.    
  
It feels like silence drags on forever, even though it probably been only a minute. Before he knows it, a cup being set down in front of him breaks him out of his thoughts.   
  
“There you go.”   
  
“Uhm..” Goro wraps his hands around the mug, letting his hands soak up the warmth from it. “You know my name, but I don’t know yours, and that hardly seems fair..?”   
  
“Right, right, sorry. It's Akira.”    
  
_ I’ll still call him what I want. _

 

No you *won’t*, he gave us a name now use it--   
  
“Akira. Nice to meet you. Though.. It's not a first meeting for you, huh..?”   
  
“You could say that.”   
  


He stares down into the mug in his hands, and brings it up to his lips--   
  
Successfully burning his tongue and also, it's REALLY bitter.   
  
He starts coughing, nearly dropping it, but somehow Akira manages to catch it before it hits the counter without spilling a drop.   
  


“Are you okay?!” He sounds way more panicked then he should be. Goro sticks out his tongue, looking miserable. Akira covers his mouth.   
  
_ Hiding a smile, that smug bastard-- _   
  
“Burnt myself.. Too bitter..”   
  
“Really? Used to like it totally black, but, that’s an easy fix. Just don’t tell Sojiro.”   
  
He’s about to remind him that he has no idea who ‘Sojiro’ is, but he’s still trying to breathe after that shock of bitterness. While Akechi silently suffers, Akira pours some stuff in there.    
  
_ Cream and sugar.  _

 

Right, whatever, doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it's not poison. Now the coffee’s much lighter, almost like chocolate milk color. He blows on it, taking another tentative sip. It's not bad, now. Still bitter, but he can tolerate it, and the cold cream cooled it off.    
  
“Better?” Akira asks, looking hopeful.   
  
“Better.” Akechi nods, taking another sip. Yeah, this isn’t half bad.    
  
They fall into another comfortable silence, Akechi starting to enjoy his drink while Akira busies himself with wiping down dishes and putting them away.   
  
“I don’t really know.. How I got here.” He mumbles into his cup.   
  
Akira shrugs. “That’s fine. I don’t mind. You’ve been here before, so, maybe it's a subconscious thing?”   
  
“..Subconscious thing. Right.” Somehow his feet just, magically remembered where to go to end up at the exact cafe that Akira works at. What are the odds.   
  
Also, he’s not entirely sure how he’s going to get home. He puts down the mug, now half drained.   
  


“I should go.”    
  
“Oh? So soon?” Akira glances over at him, looking both surprised and.. Maybe a bit disappointed.    
  


“Yeah. I have to.. Go home…” Ah, if only he knew how to get there.   
  
“..Do you need help, to get there?” And now he looks all worried. For some reason, it just, makes him *mad.* He’s not some helpless little baby, he can get to his apartment.   
  
“I don’t need help. I can get there on my own.”   
  
_ No you can’t. _

 

Yes, he can. Just wait and see.   
  
He stands up, pushing the mug of coffee away from him. “Thanks for the coffee, I guess.” He mumbles, and adjusts his hood.   
  
“Oh. Bye, Goro.” 

  
Akira mumbles right back as Akechi leaves, stepping out onto the small street.   
  
Was it his imagination, or did Akira seem sad to see him go..?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, welcome to the end,
> 
> I really want to get out as many chapters as possible, but I'll try to slow myself down after this, i promise!
> 
> please leave a comment telling me if you enjoyed, or even just a keyboard smack will do, comments feed me ^^


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Goro forgets things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got nice comments so i wrote more o^o please enjoy n tell me what u think!!

The street is colder than it was when he first left the house, though, maybe that’s just his imagination. Or the cafe compared to the outside world is so much warmer. Either way, he just.. Needs to get home. As soon as possible.   
  
Which way is it again?

  
  
_ That way. _

__   
__   
“That way.” He echoes, turning to the left and getting onto one of the bigger streets.

  
  
Something is bothering him about that stupid cafe, and the stupid boy who works there making stupid coffee and smiling in that stupid way-

  
  
_ Stop saying stupid. What are you, a child? _

 

Fair point, but he’s having a tough time not freaking out. For some reason. That cafe, he has so many memories tied to it, he *knows* it, and he’s not sure what’s worse, not being able to remember them and bring them into focus but know they’re there, or not remembering he *has* those memories in the first place.

 

He has no reason to be freaking out.

  
  
He’s freaking out.

  
  
Akechi grabs his wrist, pushing up his sleeve as he walks, fumbling to take his own pulse, see if his heart is pounding or he’s just imagining things. He presses his fingers against his pulse point. His hand is shaking.   


  
_ It's too high. Breathe. _

  
  
When did he start hyperventilating? God, he must look absolutely insane. 

  
  
_ Don’t think about how you look. Keep calm. We’re nearly there. _

  
  
“Can’t.” He mumbles, nearly bumping into someone, jerking himself to the right to avoid a collision. They give him a weird look and continue on their way. God, are they really almost there?   


  
_ You  _ **_can’t?_ ** _ You just don’t  _ **_want_ ** _ to. You’re not trying. _

__   
__   
He is trying, trying not to have a fucking breakdown in the middle of the street, having the cops called on him could be bad, really bad, Sae would have a hell of the time getting him out of trouble, it’d be bad-   


  
_ Stop that. _

__   
__   
“Just shut up.” He said he didn’t need anyone, and he doesn’t need the fucking voice in his head either, he’s all fine on his own, he can make it home one his own, and--   


  
_ No. _

__   
__   
“Shut up!” And people are staring, he can feel their eyes on him. Thank god, that’s his apartment building right there, just needs to slip inside. He goes up the stairs, 3 flights that he’s put into muscle memory, and then..

  
  
Wait. Which.. Which one is his?

  
  
All the doors are identical, and which, which one is his..? Normally Inner Goro would tell him right about now, but the voice seems to be taking his order to shut up to heart.   


  
He tries one of the doors, tries to unlock it. No dice. He’s on this floor, he knows it, but just, which one?

  
  
There's not much he can do, besides try every single door. And he really doesn’t feel like doing that. He gets out his phone, about to text Sae about which one it is, when-

  
  
_ It's 314. _

 

“Took you long enough, asshole..” He grumbles, visually sweeping the hallway in front of him and locking onto his own door. 314. That sounds right. He tries the lock and, yep, this is it.   
  
He opens the door up, closing it and latching it shut with his two bolt locks. He presses his back up against the door, sliding down until he’s sitting, leaning against it.   


  
What is *wrong* with him?

  
  
_ Not sure if you want my opinion on this. _

 

Go for it. Not like he has anything to lose.

  
  
_ He knew you from before. You can get information out of him. _

__   
__   
..Now there's a thought. 

  
  
Of course, Akira knew him from before. Said he was on some kind of.. Team, with him, so if thats the case, then.. He can get him to tell him everything.

  
  
Akechi uses the door to stand himself up, leaning against it for a brief second before moving, managing to get as far as his couch before he just collapses. This whole day has him drained, for no good reason.

  
  
Ah well, he can take a nap. Not like he has anything better to do.

  
  
Tomorrow. He’ll go back to the cafe tomorrow.

 

\----

 

_ He's sitting in the cafe, and a mug of coffee is warming his gloved hands, as he enjoys the quiet atmosphere. The news is droning on about the latest incident of a mental shutdown. For some reason, it makes him feel smug, in the prideful way where you know you've done something well, and people are taking notice.  _

 

_ The bell above the door quietly jingles, jarring him out of a conversation with the man behind the counter - it's not a loss, it was all meaningless pleasantries anyway, it's obvious the man doesn't like him - and it makes him look up at the door, looking straight into a familiar set of dark eyes, and a smirk, and his eyes zero in on that  _ smirk,  _ that mouth is moving but he can't hear what it's saying, and everything's fading- _

 

Goro wakes up with a start, nearly falling off his couch. It takes him a second to realize where he is, that he's on his couch, it's his apartment, and it's getting darker out, maybe around 8:30 now, but-

 

More importantly, someone's hammering on his door.

 

The last remains of his dream are shaken off - couldn't have been that important anyway - as he stretches, and gets up to look through the peephole in his door.

 

A very concerned Sae is on the other side.

 

_ Great, she's back. Wonder what she wants. _

 

He's quick to undo the bolt locks and open the door.

 

“Are you alright? I saw you typing something to me but never sent it, and I was nervous something happened.” She says all this before he can even open his mouth to say hi.

 

“Hello to you too.” He grumbles, and let's her in.

 

“I'm fine, just, couldn't remember my apartment number.”

 

She turns around to look at him as he shuts the door.

 

“And why would you need to know that? Akechi, it's dangerous to go out on your own right now. It's hard enough to-”

 

“You expect me to just stay here like a caged animal?” 

 

He's not sure why he's trying to pick a fight, but Sae's lips flatten into a thin line, a surefire sign that she's not pleased.

 

“You could have gotten lost, or missed you time to take your meds, or gotten recognized! It's dangerous, I just need you here for a few weeks more.”

 

_ That's what she said last month. _

 

“Sae, I just went out for a quick walk, it was fine. Really. I'm being careful, I just needed some fresh air.” He reasons, and she seems to believe his excuses.

 

“Fine, but just, stay close to your building.” She puts down one of the bags she's carrying. “I brought groceries, too. Just in case.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

There isn't much to say, now.

 

“If you're ok, then, I'll be going.” She heads for the door, and he willingly steps aside. She hesitates, like she always does, wanting for him to ask her to stay so he can spill his feelings and worries to her, and she can tell him he needs to go back to therapy-

 

It doesn't work. Not anymore.

 

“I'll be going, then.” She repeats, and steps out. He locks the door behind her.

 

Goro picks up the grocery bag, holding it close to his chest.

 

The apartment feels a lot emptier when she leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> goro: has a dream that relates to his past
> 
> also goro: lol already forgot it


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Goro goes to get some answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in a late night writing extravaganza, this was born because someone left a comment n thats the quickest way to make me write a new chapter
> 
> not beta'd, so pls lemme know if you see any mistakes!

He has to mentally hype himself up for tomorrow, making sure he takes a shower and combs through the knots in his hair and makes a good dinner and shaves, and most of those things he’d stop doing entirely if it didn’t make Sae worry so much. Besides, some weird part of him deep down is telling him that he needs to be presentable for this. Even manages to look at himself in the mirror long enough to make sure he looks ok. 

  
  
_ We’ve got a lot riding on this. _

__   
__   
Well… yeah, apparently they do, gonna see if Akira want to tell him anything about their related past tomorrow. Hopefully he isn’t as tight lipped as Sae is about all this.

  
  
_ Bedtime. You’ve got a big day tomorrow. _

__   
__   
He rolls his eyes, what, is the voice in his head his *dad* now?   
  
…   
  
For some reason, just thinking about that makes him uncomfortable. So he pushes it out of his mind. Can’t get psyched out now, he’s gotta get answers.   
  
Brushes his teeth, splashes some water on his face, and it's off to bed.    
  
\---   
  
_ He’s walking down a hallway, his shoes quietly clicking on the linoleum. The walls are white, and it’s lit up with lights so harsh he’s half tempted to shield his eyes, but he knows he won’t. It's just another minor inconvenience that he has to suffer. _ __   
__   
_ He can hear quiet murmurs from just down the hall. Three voices, one young sounding and two sounding like teenagers. He gets closer, listening for a moment before rounding the corner. _ __   
__   
_ The blonde ones, their faces are blurry and out of focus, so he deems them unimportant. He lets his gaze drift to the third and final person, who must have been the younger voice. It's strange, he doesn’t look like he would be so high pitched, but it's not something he spends too much brain power thinking about. This one’s face is sharp and not blurry in the slightest. _ __   
__   
_ He mentions something the quiet boy must have said, something about cakes, and his eyes, previously dark, seem to spark with something. Some kind of alarm, or suprise, but the rest of his body doesn’t show it. Did he say something wrong? He has to excuse himself, before he embarrasses himself further, he has a job to do, he can’t be standing around here. It's obvious they don’t want him here. He turns on his heel and keeps going down his original path, wondering what in the world he could have said to spark such an interest in the black haired one, the unanswered question feels like it's constricting his chest and making it tighter, and the lights are so bright, filling his vision with bright white light- _ __   
  


__   
Once again, he wakes with a start, the anxiety from whatever he dreamed about lingering in his chest.   
  
No. He can’t be this nervous today. He has a mission, a job to do. 

  
  
He hauls himself out of bed, smacking his alarm to shut it up. It's 10 in the morning, a perfectly reasonable time for the cafe to be open. He gets dressed, takes his meds, and he’s out the door in record time, having put his apartment number into his phone so he doesn’t forget again.   
  
Right, left, another left, another right, turn here, go straight...   
  
It's not too long before he’s in front of Leblanc, staring at the sign above the door. 10:15, right on schedule, plenty of time to get the answers he needs.

  
  
He makes the cautious decision of looking through the tinted glass, into the shop.

  
  
His heart nearly stops.

  
  
There's two blondes in there, and they’re talking to Akira. One boy, one girl. They look so familiar, he’s seen them before and he knows it. And there's a  **cat** on the  **counter** , that can’t possibly be sanitary, and they’re all laughing together like they’re best friends. They probably are. 

  
  
His perfect plan to get some answers for once is falling apart already.

 

He tries to get away from the glass windows before he’s spotted, but it's too late. Akira just so happens to glance over at the worst time, and he totally was seen. He rushes to get away from the cafe, turning the nearest corner and pressing his back against the wall, willing his heart to quit pounding.   
  
_ We knew them, before. _ __   
__   
That part was obvious, he’s seen them somewhere. Of course Akira has other friends, talks to other people, he’s only known the guy for a couple of days and he can already see that he’s charming as all hell.   
  
He’s not jealous.

  
  
He’s not.

 

_ You’re jealous. _ _   
_

__   
He’s  **not.**   


  
_ Fine, whatever. _

__   
__   
“Goro, are you ok?”

  
  
A voice, and a hand on his arm startle him out of his thoughts. He looks up, and finds himself staring right into Akira’s eyes. The other boy has concern written all over his face.   


  
_ Get it together. _

__   
__   
Right.

  
  
“Yes, I’m, fine. Thank you. I just... didn’t want to interrupt.”

  
  
“Ah, right.” The concern melts away, much to Goro’s relief, and the hand on his arm retracts, leaving his skin tingling pleasantly where it was, even though he’s wearing long sleeves.   


  
“Well, my friends are gone now for the day, if you want to talk.” 

  
  
It's.. it's ok, he can still get back on track, the plan isn’t ruined completely. Adapt and overcome, right? It's fine. He’s fine.   


  
_ That’s the spirit. _

 

“Alright..” He nods, and Akira seems pleased.

  
  
“Cmon, then.”

 

Akira just starts walking, like he’s certain Goro will follow, so of course he does, trailing after him like a lost puppy.

  
  
“Did you come here to talk, or just for a cup of coffee?” Akira asks casually, but, this is anything but casual, and he just needs to tell him that he wants answers. Be polite, but firm, and-   


  
“J-just coffee.”

  
  
_ Oh, for fucks sake. _

  
  
“Got it. One coffee coming right up.” Akira heads to the back to start brewing. Hitting his head against the counter is a very tempting course of action right about now. Why did he say that?!   
  
It's only a few minutes before Akira comes back with the coffee, adding the creamer and all that, before pushing it towards Goro. And then it's a few  **more** minutes of a more awkward silence, while he silently panics about how to bring this up.   
  
Akira sighs, making him look up from where he’s staring into his coffee cup.   


  
“What’s wrong?”

  
  
“Huh?” Goro blinks, is he really that obvious-

  
  
“You obviously want to say something, so just, go ahead. I promise I won’t get mad or upset, no matter what it it.” And he smiles that soft smile, and it looks so  **genuine** , that for a second Goro feels like spilling every single one of his problems to him.   


  
_ One step at a time. _

  
Right. Take it slow. You don’t know this guy.

  
  
“I.. I want to know more about myself.” He confesses, and some expression flashes across Akira’s face, but it's gone before Goro can even put a label on it.

  
  
“What do you want to know?” He says it slowly, as if he’s measuring the weight of his words, being incredibly careful with what he says. 

  
  
“Just, who I was, for now.” That’s all he needs. That’s a start. Baby steps.

  
  
“Alright. Uhm..” Akira taps his fingers on the counter, obviously thinking. “Lets see.. You were a detective.”

  
  
“I knew that. Was I a good one?”

  
  
That soft smile returns full force, making his chest get all tight, like his heart is doing flips.

  
  
“One of the best.” Akira nods. “You helped a lot of people.” 

  
  
“I’m sensing a ‘but’ in there.”

  
  
“Thats.. For another day. Anything else?”

  
  
“Yes, I just.. Can you tell me anything, about the incident?”

  
  
Now he’s frowning, brows coming together and making his forehead wrinkle.

  
  
“Incident?

  
“Sae said that there was some kind of incident, an accident, made me lose all my memories and, I still don’t know what it was.”

  
  
The frown turns into a tight lipped line. Goro is instantly reminded of when Sae is displeased.

  
  
“I don’t know how much about that I can tell you.. But.. you deserve to know some things. I’ll deal with Sae.” Akira takes a deep breath, the tapping on the counter stops.

  
  
“Have you ever heard of the Phantom Thieves?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> touch starved goro is best goro what can i say
> 
> Also inner goro is both done with goro's shit and also supportive
> 
> Please tell me what you think!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Goro gets pissed, and Akira gets worried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i burned myself out a lot with the other chapters being written in such quick succession (not a joke i wrote 5000+ words in like, 4 or 5 days sometimes whole chapters in one night) and so im gonna space them out a bit!
> 
> also this chapter just wouldnt flow well so i hope it ended up ok
> 
> again, not beta'd! pls tell me what u think!

Goro just, blinks. He has a feeling this was supposed to be some kind of, big moment, a huge reveal, but the name only vaguely rings a bell. He must’ve seen it during that google search of himself.

  
“..No? Should I have?” It's such a dramatic name, that it's a reasonable guess.

  
  
Akira snorts, shaking his head. “No no, they were like.. This group of people, who went around taking hearts. Not literally.”

  
  
“..How?” To be honest, half of him thinks this is bullshit, and the other half isn’t surprised.    
  


 

“No one knows.” There's a flash of  **something** in Akira’s eyes, and he’s not entirely sure what it is. It disappears before he can figure out what it is.

  
  
“Then, why are you telling me this?” He keeps studying Akira’s face, trying to catch another glimpse of that weird look, but his expression is unwavering. 

  
  
Akira distracts himself by playing with his own hands. Maybe it's some kind of nervous tick, but it's almost like he’s adjusting something that isn’t quite there. No time to focus on that, though, he looks back up to Akira’s face. For the first time since Goro’s met him, he looks almost.. Nervous.

  
  
“What is it?” He presses gently, trying to get Akira to just spit it out.

  
  
“Most people believe you’re one of the people they changed.” He finally admits.

  
  
If someone had to ‘change his heart’ somehow, then that means… he was...

  
  
_ Don’t. We weren’t bad. I promise. _   


  
How would you know?   


  
_ No comment. _

  
  
Alright, asshole, keep your secrets then.

  
  
“So I was.. Actually, not a good detective?” He asks, and it seems like Akira realizes what exactly he was implying. There's a brief flash of panic across his face.

  
  
“N-no, no, you just lost your way there. For a little while.” 

  
  
Thats.. Good to know. Somewhat reassuring. 

  
  
“You came around in the end. But someone.. Powerful, didn’t like that you came around. And they tried to stop you.”

  
  
There's something in the back of his head, a face, and if he could just bring it into focus, then he’s sure his questions would get answered, but just as he can make out that it's a man, it's gone, slipping out of his grasp.   
  
He’s starting to get really tired of that happening, now.

  
  
“I.. I don’t know how much I’m allowed to tell you, Goro.” Akira admits, and to be honest, he’s getting real tired of  **that,** too. People not telling him things about his own life.    
  
It's his life, his past, doesn’t he deserve some kind of explanation? Shouldn’t someone, Sae, or Akira, or  **some** body sit him down and tell him what's what? Why is he the only one who doesn’t know himself and everyone else does, it's  **unfair-**   


  
“I’m sorry.”

  
  
Akira’s voice bring him back out of his angry thoughts.   


  
_ It's not Akira’s fault. _

  
  
The voice in his head gently reminds him of that fact. And.. he’s right, it's not Akira’s fault. It's not. 

  
  
_ It's not Sae’s fault either. _

  
  
That, he doesn’t agree on at all. Sae’s the one with  **all** the answers and  **all** the authority, she could tell him everything with little consequences.

  
  
_ They’re protecting you. _

__   
__   
Protecting him from what!?

  
  
_ Trust me. You don’t want to know. _

__   
__   
Great, so now the fucking voice in his head isn’t giving it to him straight. Awesome. 

  
  
“Goro?”

  
  
Right, he hasn’t said anything in a while. 

  
  
“..what are you all trying to protect me from?” 

  
  
“Pardon me?” Akira blinks, like he’s surprised.

  
  
“What are you trying to protect me from?” Goro repeats himself, finding himself filled with a sudden confidence. “What could possibly be so bad that no one can tell me? Don’t I have a right to know?”    


  
_ You have no idea- _ _   
_

__   
“Shut up, okay.” He snaps.   


  
“I didn’t say-” Akira’s trying to interject. He won’t let him.

  
  
“Did I do something horrible? I did, didn't I. Or something horrible happened to me, besides the whole, you know, nearly dying thing. That's literally all I know about what happened to me. I nearly died, and that’s why all my memories are gone. Do you know what that’s like? Having people know you, but you have no clue who they are?”    
  
He’s getting angry now, no, not angry, absolutely  **furious,** and there's not a single person either in his life or in his mind that’s gonna stop him.   


  
“I-”   


  
“No, you don’t know what that’s like. I’m basically told to sit in an empty apartment all day, bored out of my skull, with no one to talk to. And why is that? Why am I not allowed to go out in public unless I wear a hoodie and try to hide my face,  **why** am I not allowed to go anywhere at all?”    


  
_ You don’t know what you’re doing. _ _   
_

__   
He knows exactly what he’s doing.   


  
“Whatever, Akira. I don’t need you to tell me this stuff. I can find it myself. All on my own.”

  
  
He storms out, leaving Akira slack jawed and speechless.

  
  
His feet hitting the pavement set a comforting rhythm, and a slimy, smug satisfaction wraps itself around him, shielding him from the outside world. Finally, he’s gotten most of his frustration out, he just has to go home, he’ll do.. He’ll do something, thats for sure, he’ll find out who he is, he’ll..

  
  
He’ll run away, that’s what he’ll do. 

  
  
The idea roots itself in his mind and it won’t come loose. He’ll do it, get away from here, find answers all on his own. He doesn’t need others, he’s fine.

  
  
_ All humans need bonds with other humans. _   


  
Shut up.   
  
\---   
  
In the cafe, Akira’s snapped out of his daze, frantically calling the number 2nd on his speed dial.

  
  
“Cmon, pick up, pick up,  **please** ,” The phone clicks as the call connects, and he sighs with relief.

  
  
“Sae, I need your help.”

  
  
“Kurusu? What’s going on, I just got out of a meeting--”

  
  
“It's about Goro.”

  
  
He can practically hear her frowning.

 

  
“I wasn’t aware you two were talking again.”

  
  
“Jesus, Sae, that’s not important right now. He came to the cafe, and left in a huff, I dunno what he’s gonna do--”

  
  
“Slow down, Akira. Tell me what happened.” She’s trying to keep her voice calm, obviously, but he can hear the slightest bit of panic in it. She cares about Akechi, more then she’ll ever admit.  So does he.   


  
So he tells her. Every last detail. When he’s done...

  
  
“Shit. Alright. Hang tight, I’ll check on him. I’ll call back with updates.” With that, there's a click, and the line goes dead.   


  
Akira stares at the ‘call ended’ screen, and puts his head down on the counter.

  
  
Nothing he can do but wait.   



	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Goro finally breaks down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter feels so dramatic,,, im not sure how i feel about it, but here you go!
> 
> please lemme know whatchu think, comments feed me! 
> 
> ^^

He slams the door to his apartment so hard it bounces, and doesn’t close properly. Not like it really matters, the old slab of wood never really worked that well anyway, noise complaints be damned, he won’t be around long enough to hear them.

  
  
What’s the best way to run away? He’d google it, but that seems stupid, childish, which he definitely is **not.**

****  
****  
Goro heads to his room, opening up his tiny closet and digging into the back, and there it is, an old worn backpack. He’s not sure how he knew it was here, but no time to consider that now. He starts collecting his favorite clothing, which is his **only** clothing. It's all hoodies and sweatpants and a few jeans and hats just in case it gets cold. They all get haphazardly shoved into the backpack. No need to fold them.   
  
What else does he need.. Food, and his meds. He throws his bag over his shoulder, heading to the kitchen, plopping the backpack on the counter. Normally he wouldn’t put such a dirty thing on the counter, but it's not like he’ll be making anything on it again. The landlord will probably clean it before the next tenant moves in. One quick raid of the pantry later, and his meds, a water bottle, and some protein bars get shoved in.

  
  
What else…

  
  
Money? Does he even have that? He has like, 500 yen to his name. But it's ok, he can just get a part time job somewhere, and get money from that.   
  
He stares at the backpack sitting on the counter, as it slowly falls over because of all the stuff he shoved into it.

  
  
..What is he even doing?

  
  
If he ran away, it's not like he has anywhere to go, or a way to get there. He doesn’t have money for train passes, or taxis, and he can’t live on 3 protein bars and 500 yen. He’s already packed the bag, though. 

  
_You haven’t even left the house. There's still time to change your mind. It's a bad idea and you know it._

  
  
Now’s the time you decide to talk again? Too late, he’s going to go. Right now. He’s sure it's the right thing to do. No looking back.

  
  
He tries to zip up the backpack.

  
  
No dice.

  
  
This.. no way. No way the fucking zipper is broken, or jammed, or stuck--

  
  
_I hate to say I told you so, but.._

  
  
Shut up!

  
  
“C-cmon, just-”

  
  
He pulls harder, and the entire pull tab on the zipper comes right off.

  
  
He stares at the stupid little plastic thing in his hand, and it just, **breaks** him.

  
  
He leans against the counter, slowly sliding down to the floor, his back pressed up against the cabinet.

  
  
Everything just suddenly feels so, **hopeless.**

 

  
What would have running even done? Again, he has no one else, all he has is Akira and Sae, and now he can’t even see Akira ever again-

  
  
_Of course we can still see him._

  
  
No, we can’t, we’ve ruined it by yelling at him. He hates us now. 

  
_Don’t be stupid._ _  
_

  
What? 

  
_Remember, he knew you did some.. Not so great things, before you lost your memories. And he still wants to talk to you. He saw you outside the cafe and came and got you and brought you inside. Akira’s been nothing but kind. He doesn’t deserve to be doubted like that. Trust me, alright? He’s good._

  
  
Thats.. The most you’ve ever said at one time. Like, ever.

  
  
_Heh. I have my moments._

  
  
Whatever..

  
  
When did he start crying..?

  
  
He reaches up, touching his cheek, and his hand comes away wet.

  
  
_When’s the last time you let yourself cry?_

  
  
It's.. it's been a while.

  
  
Goro drops the stupid plastic zipper thingy on the floor, and covers his face.

  
  
_Who’re you hiding from?_ _  
_

_  
_Good question. Would it be cheesy or dramatic to say he’s hiding from himself?

  
  
_Can’t hide from me._

  
  
Right, right. Whatever.

  
  
A touch on his arm makes him jump, and he looks up from his spot on the kitchen floor, right into the concerned filled eyes of one Sae Niijima. She’s kneeling on the floor beside him, it's incredible that he didn’t notice her earlier.

  
  
“What.. how did you..”

  
  
“Door was unlocked.” She explains, quick, simple, to the point.

  
  
Shit, right, the **door.** It bounced when he slammed it, didn’t click shut, didn’t even lock it and slide the two deadbolts into place.

  
  
Part of him is mad that he forgot something like that, and the other half has never been so grateful to see another person in his life. At least, not that he can remember.

  
  
“Do you want to talk about it..?” She asks, gently, just like she always does. He’s probably a mess, he can feel that his face is hot from the whole crying thing, and for the first time, when asked that question, he nods.

  
  
_There we go. That wasn’t so hard, now, was it?_

  
  
Inner Goro sounds like he’s trying to be snarky, but he can already tell the voice in his head actually gives a shit about him.

  
  
Sometimes he’s pretty sure that voice knows more about Akira and the world then he does.

  
  
Sae leans herself against the cabinet, sitting next to him on the floor.

  
  
“Just.. take your time. Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”

  
  
So he does.

  
  
It's gross, and a little messy, as he babbles and rambles about meeting Akira and finding Leblanc somehow and googling himself, and the stupid zipper breaking and saying all of this out loud makes him feel even worse since it doesn’t seem like that much, right, who has a breakdown over a zipper pull tab?  He has to cut himself off eventually, because the crying has gotten much, much worse, and how is he supposed to **breathe** like this.

  
  
Sae gently puts an arm around his shoulders, and without even thinking, he quickly leans over and hugs her tightly.  She didn’t expect that, he can tell, it's like her entire body goes tense, but eventually, she hugs back.

  
  
It's the nicest thing he’s ever felt.

  
  
He’s not sure how long it is until she speaks. Could’ve been an hour, a day, or just a few minutes.

 

  
“..Goro, maybe we should finally give therapy a try..? I know some people, and we can try them out, find someone you like. Only if you want, though.”

  
  
He considers her words for a minute, until he finally nods.

  
  
“I think.. I’d like that.” 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goro finally goes to therapy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! heres a new chapter for you all.
> 
> i tried a kind of different style for this one, I hope it seems alright!

They go to therapy.

 

The first lady Sae takes him to seems nice enough, but there's something off about her. As soon as Sae leaves the room, the woman asks him for an autograph. He refuses.

 

They leave soon after that, and don't come back.

 

He gets a call on his phone as they drive back to the apartment that day, and Sae mentions it's Akira's number, oh wow, how had he gotten a hold of Goros number?

 

He looks her in the eye, and presses 'ignore.’ From her slightly concerned and displeased expression, Inner Goro is quick to figure out that she's the one who gave Akira his number.

 

They go to therapy.

 

The second therapist Sae brings him to is a man this time, who is nice enough, but for some reason his bald head and glasses put Goro on edge.

 

They politely tell him they don't think he's quite the right fit.

 

They don't go back to that one either.

 

The same number he knows now to be Akira's keeps calling. He never answers.

 

They keep looking.

 

On the way into the 3rd place, he catches a glimpse of a similar looking man on a TV in the waiting room, something about a trial and investigations.

 

When the receptionist doesn't change the channel like they asked, he has to leave.

 

It's been 3 weeks now, since that breakdown in the kitchen, and Akira's graduated to texts, asking if he's alright, that Sae told him he's fine, but he wants to hear it from Goro's own mouth.

 

He gets into the habit of leaving his phone on silent most of the time.

 

It's sick, and it's twisted, to just leave him on read like that, the voice in his head tells him so, but he just can't bring himself to respond.

 

Time passes.

 

They go to therapy.

 

This next one is a winner, Sae promises, she knew the woman through a mutual friend and apparently she's pretty good, and just what Goro needs.

 

He gets brought to a white, unforgiving and cold looking room, with the woman on a spinny chair. There's a computer, and a ratty looking couch he's sort of hesitant to sit on. 

 

Sae and the woman talk, and before long, he's left there.

 

She's pale, with dark blue-ish hair. Her style certainly doesn't make him think ‘therapist’, maybe more so 'punk mad scientist.’ She has a clipboard, and a collar with spikes on it, and her steady gaze feels like she's looking right through him, right through his chest and soul and at an interesting spot on the wall or couch he's now blocking with his body.

 

She crosses her legs, leaning back in her spinny chair.

 

“Goro Akechi, as I live and breathe.” 

  
  
Her voice matches her looks perfectly. It makes him shift in his seat, like it's physically poking him.

  
  
“I guess we should start things off right. I’m Tae Takemi. I’ve heard a lot about you.” 

  
  
She holds out her hand for him to shake, and he eyes it cautiously, before slowly taking it and shaking. Her grip is strong, and he didn’t expect it, finding himself wincing when she finally lets go.

  
  
“First things first. I’m not actually a fully fledged therapist.”    


  
_ Great start. _

__   
__   
“But, I am a doctor, I’m confidential, and I’ll listen. I won’t tell anyone what you tell me in this room.”

  
  
He looks at her with open suspicion. “Not even Sae?”

  
  
She nods. “Not even Sae. It's all confidential.” And she offers him the smallest little smile, and somehow, it kind of puts him at ease. 

  
  
He can do this. Easy peasy.

  
  
Time passes.

  
  
He has appointments with Tae, at least once a week, sometimes twice. She’s nice, if not a bit intimidating, and she listens. The only thing he doesn’t like is when she writes on something attached to her clipboard that he can’t see, which makes him nervous. She noticed that once, and hasn’t done it since.   


  
Time passes.

  
  
He gets a call from Akira in the middle of a session. By this time, he’s comfy, and gotten most of his emotional baggage out into the open. The phone starts vibrating, and her piercing eyes zero in on it.

  
  
“Aren’t you going to answer that?” She asks, raising an eyebrow at him.

 

“Nope.” He presses ignore, tucking it partially under his thigh.

 

“And why's that?”

 

Ah, the inevitable 'why.’ He's still not sure why he won't answer Akira's calls. 

 

Tae's steady gaze softens just the slightest bit. “You can't avoid him forever. He'll show up to your house sometime or another.” 

 

“I know.” He sighs, glancing down to avoid her eyes, hands both balled up into loose fists.

 

“What will you say to him then?”

 

Another good question. Tae pries him apart with her questions, how she gets him to tell her everything without saying a word.

 

“I don't know.” He confesses.

 

Tae sighs, leaning forward in her chair.

 

“You can't run forever, Goro. Trust me. I know.” 

 

He doesn't doubt that she knows. He has a feeling Tae's been through some shit.

 

“I get that, just.. I just need a little bit longer.” 

  
  
_ How long is that gonna be, though? _

  
  
Who knows. Half of him wants Akira to stop calling all together, and the other half would hate it if that happened.

  
  
Tae’s phone chimes now, a timer letting them know their time is nearly up here.

  
  
“Alright, you know what that means. Final thoughts?” She asks, leaning back again, putting her clipboard aside.

  
  
He shrugs, giving her a bullshit answer, and he’s on his way pretty fast.   
  
\---   
  
She’s finishing up her notes from the session, when her phone chimes again.

  
  
Tae picks it up right away once she sees who it is.

  
  
“Hey, guinea pig.” She answers, the tiniest smile crossing her face.

  
  
“You still call me that..?” Akira groans a little bit. “I haven’t done a trial in like, 4, 5 months now.”

  
  
“Once a guinea pig, always a guinea pig.” She shrugs, even though she knows Akira can’t see her

  
  
“Listen, Takemi, just.. Why didn’t you tell me you were seeing Goro all the time..?”

  
  
She puts the phone on speaker, spinning in her chair lazily.

  
  
“Ever hear of something called patient confidentiality?” 

  
  
“Yeah, I know, but just.. Can you tell me? If he’s okay?”

  
  
Stops her spinning with her foot. 

  
  
“He’s doing a lot better, I’ll tell you what.”

  
  
“Not sick, then..?”

  
  
“No, not physically. It's all mental.” Akira probably knew that already, so she can say it, right? “When’s the last time you spoke, anyway?”

  
  
“It's been a month...” Akira admits, sighing, and she can just hear how tired he is. "A month and a few days."

  
  
“Just go to his place.”

  
“Huh?”

  
  
“I said, go to his place and talk if you want to see him so bad. You did it once before, didn’t you?”

  
  
“I just.. Takemi, why’s he avoiding me?”   


  
“Go talk to him. Don’t tell him I told you all this, but he has this weird notion that you kind of hate him now? Something like that.”    


  
“For fucks sake..”   


  
“Hey, language.”

  
  
“Okay, I’ll.. I’ll go talk to him.”

  
  
“Atta boy. Tell me how it goes. Actually, don’t, he’ll probably tell me all about it next session. Bye.”

  
  
She hangs up without even letting him say goodbye back.

  
  
Takemi opens a drawer, raiding her secret lollipop stash, unwrapping one, and putting it in her mouth.

  
  
She hopes those two work it out.. Goro needs other people in his life he can trust.

  
  
If there's one thing she knows, it's that Akira Kurusu is the most trustworthy guy she’s ever met.   
  



	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Goro finally has to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh, sorry it took so long to update! the rp i had of this only went up to about the last chapter, so I'm running solo now, haha
> 
> please enjoy, and tell me what you think!

He’s in the middle of a breakfast consisting of half an apple and a handful of chips (which, honestly, isn’t that bad considering some days he skips it entirely) when somebody knocks at his door.   
  
It's not a therapy day, and Sae would’ve just texted him to come outside, and she handles all the stuff with the landlord, so unless Tae somehow found his address, it can only be one person.    


  
_ We knew this would happen eventually. _ _  
_

__  
Yeah, but, not this soon.   


  
_ It's been a month. _ _  
_

__  
Still too soon!   


  
He gets up, leaving the last of his food on the kitchen counter, and heads towards the door. It's like one that scene in every horror movie, where the dumb blonde is opening the door that the killer is behind, and the audience is screaming at them.   
  
He looks through the peephole, and yep, it's him.   
  
He quickly looks away, backing up from the door. Maybe if he just waits for a while, he’ll go away, and it’ll be fine. Right?   


  
_ Sure, that’s totally how it works. _   


  
Shut it.

  
  
_ You can’t run and hide forever. _

__  
__  
He  **knows** that, just-

  
  
“Goro?”

  
  
Akira’s voice is muffled by the door between them, but he can still hear.

  
  
“I know you’re in there, just.. Cmon. Let me just see that you’re alright, and I’ll leave. I swear.”

  
  
…

  
  
He can hear Akira sigh. 

  
  
“Sae told me you were doing fine, but I just want to see it for myself.”    


  
…

  
  
“Did I do something wrong? I’m not mad at you, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’m just.. You know. Worried about you.”

  
  
Damn it, that  **is** what he was so worried about.

  
  
“...I’m.. sorry to bother you. I’ll just be going, then..”

  
  
_ Do  _ **_not_ ** _ let him leave. _ _  
_

__  
What?!   


  
_ Listen to me, okay, just trust me. Don’t let him leave. Don’t make that mistake. _ _  
_

__  
What do you mean-   


  
_ This really isn’t the time to be questioning my reasoning. Trust me. Please. _ _  
_

__  
He can practically feel the desperation in Inner Goro’s words.   


  
Maybe that’s why he opens the door, unlocking the bolts so fast he nearly pinches his finger on them.   


  
Akira had already turned to go, but stops when the door opens. So many emotions cross his face at once, that Akechi can’t even begin to keep track of what they all are.    


  
“..Hey.”   


  
God, why is this so, hard, to just, talk to him?   


  
“Hi, Goro.” He replies, and turns back to face him. “You’re doing… good?”   


  
“Yeah.”   


  
…   
This is way too awkward.   


  
“You.. wanna come in?” He asks, and Akira looks slightly suprised.   


  
“Only if it's alright with you.”   


  
“Of course it's fine with me, I asked if  **you** wanted to.”    


  
“Right.”

  
..

  
Akechi lets him go first, and closes the door behind them. Doesn’t lock it, since.. If he does, it's almost like he’s trapped.

  
  
“So, I heard you’re going to therapy now..?”

  
  
Akechi blinks a bit in surprise. How.. did he find that out, that’s a little.. Strange. 

  
  
_ Sae, probably.  _

  
  
Right..   


  
“Oh, yeah, uh.. It's.. good. Good for me. Yeah.”

  
  
_ Don’t just stand there like a deer in headlights, he’s not gonna hurt you. _

__  
__  
Right, you’re right, it's fine..

  
  
He sits down on the couch, patting the spot next to him.  Akira sits down there with little hesitation.

  
  
“I’m sorry I didn’t answer any of your texts. Or your calls.” Now that he says it out loud, it seems worse than before.

  
  
“It's fine, I get it. You need space.”

  
  
“No, thats.. Not it. I just, thought you were mad, and I knew I had to respond  **sometime** , but I just never.. could. What was I even supposed to say?”

  
  
“A simple ‘hi’ would’ve been fine.” Akira shrugs. 

  
He snorts, shaking his head. “Just a ‘hi’ after all that time? Seems kinda cold, don’t you think?”   


  
“Yeah, but, would’ve been fine with me.”

  
  
It seems neither of them can think of anything else to say, so they just fall into a more comfortable silence.

  
  
“Hey..” Akira starts up again quietly. “I know you probably aren’t that into, you know, touch and stuff, which I totally get, and you can say no, but can I just.. Give you a hug?”

  
  
“Uhm..” He considers it, and, honestly.. It can’t be that bad, right? “..Go for it.”

  
  
“Alright.” Akira turns to him, and gently wraps his arms around him. Not too tight, not too loose. 

  
  
_ Shouldn’t you, you know, hug back and not just sit there like a limp noodle? _

__  
__  
Alright, fair enough, but, rude.   
  
…   
“Hold on..”   
  
With some shifting, they get a new position, where it's just a nice, mutual hug.

  
  
Not cuddling at all.

  
  
Not at all.   
  
“Is this any better?” He asks, and Akira just shrugs. 

  
  
“Not what I thought would happen when I came over here, but, yeah.”

  
  
“What, did you think I’d just kick you out straight away? I feel  **guilty** , duh.”

  
  
“So this is just a guilt hug.”

  
  
“..Yeah.”

  
  
Akira shrugs, and for some reason, grins at him. “Eh, good enough for me.”

  
\---

_ “Joker!” _ __  
__  
_ A female voice cries out, but he can’t figure out where it's coming from. Akechi looks over and sees an actual UFO, but for some reason, it doesn’t surprise him. This is.. This is a casino, and thats.. _ __  


_  
_ _ Akira’s on the floor, he’d recognize him anywhere, though that costume is ridiculous. _

__  
_  
_ __ Without thinking, he gathers Akira.. No, here, he’s Joker… up in his arms, supporting him, keeping him upright. 

__  
_  
_ __ “I’ve got him, Oracle. Let us get to a safe room.” 

  
  
_ “Right.” The girl agrees. _

__  
_  
_ _ One of the blondes, he comes over and takes Akira from him. The scowl on his face makes the boy’s opinions of Goro obvious.  _ __ They dodge grotesque monsters - Shadows, he remembers that they’re called - and make it too a room, where they all rest. 

__  
_  
_ __ One of them, the other blonde, the girl, she does something, and Akira comes back into consciousness, stubbornly getting up. 

__  
_  
_ __ The female voice from before now has a face, a small redhead girl. “Joker, you can’t keep going on like this.”

__  
_  
_ __ “You’re only partially healed. Your soul isn’t at full strength. It would be best to leave and return later.” He hears himself saying.

__  
_  
_ __ Akira just shrugs, that dumb smile crossing his face.

__  
__  
_ “Eh, good enough for me.” _ __  
__  
\---   
  
Huh?

  
  
Wheres…

  
  
Goro opens his eyes, not even having been aware that he had closed them. What time even is it..? 

  
  
Akira’s not here anymore.. He must’ve dozed off.. 

  
  
Goro sits up properly, rubbing his eyes, and rubbing away the last bits of that dream. He keeps having dreams, but he can never remember them properly… pretty sure Akira was in it, though. Which would make sense.   


 

He checks his phone, and sees a voice message. From Akira. 

  
  
Plays it..

  
  
_ “Hey, Goro? I just wanted to say, uhm, sorry. I had to leave, I had work today, so.. Sorry about that. Hope you slept good. Hope I didn’t.. Wake you.” _ __  
__  
_ … _ __  
_  
_ __ “Thanks for opening the door. I won’t bother you again, if you want, just say the word.”

__  
__  
Muffled voices in the background.

  
  
_ “Sorry. Gotta go. Thanks again.” _

__  
__  
And that’s it.  
  
..  
  
He leans back on the couch, staring at his ceiling.  
  
  
..He'll see him again soon. He will. And they'll be able to talk like normal human beings.

  
  
Hopefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> akira, to the tune of 'do you want to build a snowman': goro please i know you're in there,
> 
> i cant believe it took me 8 chapters to finally write a cuddle chapter..
> 
> again, please comment, they really do feed me <3 thank u for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Goro remembers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally,, its here
> 
> pls enjoy!
> 
> unbetad~

He gets back into the swing of things. Whatever that means.   
  
Albeit, he does so slowly, but it's something. Tae says any progress is good, so he’ll take her word on that.   
  
It starts with good morning and good night texts Akira sends him every single day, without fail. The first time it happened, he was confused, tempted to ask him  **why** he decided to say ‘good morning’ with 10 emojis after it, but something told him that he really shouldn’t question it.    
  
Now, he can’t fall asleep without seeing a text from him.   
  
It's strange, how somehow he’s been conditioned into needing a sort of.. Validation, needing to know Akira’s still on this planet and thinking about him enough to remember to send him a good night text. It's stupid. He shouldn’t need to rely on something like that.   
  
It still makes him squirm like a happy little snake every time he sees it. He  **swears** he can hear the voice in his head chuckling at him in the back of his mind. Thing is, Goro can’t bring himself to care.   
  
They go slow, and they go fast.   
  
Akira comes over sometimes, just to make sure Goro’s doing alright. He bought him a plant (a cactus, so it doesn’t die  **too** fast), and Akechi was certain the stupid thing would die within a week or two.    
  
But he finds himself going on late night google binges, trying to figure out how to best care for the little life in a pot on his nightstand. He named the cactus Aiko. It seemed fitting.   
  
On one particular day, Akira comes by, with a bag Goro doesn’t recognize. Which is never good. That means he’s brought something, which is never good. Along with a big grin on Akira’s face, oh yeah, Goro’s in trouble.   
  
“What’s in the bag?” His eyes zero in on it the second he opens the door.   
  
“Nothing.” Akira just grins a little wider, shutting the door behind him, and double bolting it, just like Goro likes it.   
  
“That just makes you more suspicious-” He starts, but is quickly silenced with a finger over his lips   
  
“Shhh, don’t fight it.” Akira drags him into Goro’s tiny bathroom, sitting him down on the toilet.   
  
He reaches into the bag, smacking two black containers on the counter, and a bunch of..   
  
Oh. Oh no.   
  
“Akira, are those face masks?” He peers at them, and there's all kinds, sheets and the kind you slather on, with all sorts of weird labels and claims on the front.   
  
“Yeah. Isn’t it great?” He looks almost proud of his haul, and Goro can’t even begin to think of how much money he must have spent on these.   
  
“I don’t-”   
  
“Do you want exfoliating? Or hydrating? Mm, maybe a pore cleaning one?” Akira ignores any and all protest, and it's even more of a struggle when he pins his hair back, and tries to do the same to Goro.   
  
“You look awful! I’m not looking like that!” He refuses, dodging most of Akira’s attempts to pin back the hair around his face.   
  
“Okay, that's the point. You’re not supposed to look good during facemasks, dummy. Cmon, let me just-”   
  
Akira ends up laughing himself hoarse, because  **apparently** Goro looks like a grumpy cat with his hair pinned back like this.    
  
He ends up getting goop slopped on his face, which is awful on it's own, but he has to leave it on for the longest 15 minutes of his life, which is even  **worse,** and his nose itches so bad that he keeps making faces, and Akira can hardly breathe with how hard he’s laughing.    
  
The face mask gets wiped off, and there isn’t any difference he can see, but Akira swears up and down that Goro’s skin is glowing.    
  
He’s still smiling long after Akira leaves, long after the other boy makes him swear to not throw the face masks out, and to use them occasionally.   
  
And when the good night text shows up on his phone screen that night.. Well. If his heart seems to skip a beat, he’ll keep it to himself.   
  
\---   
  
_ “Goro!” _

 

_ It's.. Akira's voice, and he's screaming, but it's muffled. Right. That's good. That means the door closed all the way. The thieves are all safe. Well.. he's not safe, but there's no way they count him as one of their own, now. _

 

_ He's got his gun pointed at.. himself, a copy of him staring back with the same determined expression he's sure he has on his own face.  _

 

_ They're safe. It doesn't matter about him. They're safe. Akira's safe. _

 

_ There's one more frantic scream of his name, before he locks eyes with himself, pulling the trigger. _

 

_ Bang. _

 

\---

 

He wakes up, gasping, sweat pouring down his face. Goro grabs hold of his own arm just to make sure that he’s even  **real.**

 

What.. the  **fuck.** Was that.

 

He's had dreams before, but he's never remembered them, not like this. Bits and pieces at best, maybe, quickly shaken off when he comes back into the waking world. It's a dream, just a dream, but.. no, he can't shake it off with logic. That was his death. That was how he died. He’s sure of it.   
  


And Akira, he was  **there** , why was he.. What..   
  
_ Goro. Hey. Listen to me. _   
  
He can hardly process what the hell he just saw. Sae said it was an accident, that was no accident. Being shot isn’t a fucking accident. So then, she must have known? Where even was he, some kind of, metal place??   
  
He stumbles out of bed, ignoring the ‘ping’ of his phone, and nearly smacks into the wall of his hallway. He has to lean heavily against it just to keep from sinking down to the floor. If he does that, he’s not going to get back up again.

 

_ Goro.  _ **_Hey._ ** _ Can you even hear me? _   
  
So Sae lied to him? Could anything she say even be trusted? Could  **Akira** even be trusted?   
  


His vision is swimming, he’s seeing stars, and every single one of them is laughing at him.   
  
He’s an idiot. Such an  **idiot.**

 

Goro pushes off from his spot on the wall, feeling bile rise in his throat. He gets there just in time, kneeling over the toilet and emptying the contents of his stomach.    
  
_ For fucks sake, hello?! _   
  
Yeah.. yeah.. He can hear him.   
  
_ Okay, I know what you just saw was a lot. _ __  
__  
No shit.   
  
He grimaces, flushing the toilet, and standing up. Bad idea, has quickly lean against the wall again.   
  
_ I know, okay, I get it. Just, call Akira- _ __  
__  
No. He’s not calling anyone. They all lied to him, both of them, the only two people he had in his life. Hell, maybe even Tae knew!   
  
_ I don’t think she knew the details, but- _   
  
Then she did know! That leaves not a single fucking person he can trust. There's no one.    
  
__ You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to be alone.   
  
If only it was that simple.   
  
He leans over the sink, washing out his mouth.   
  
Goro drags himself back to his bed, and lays down again on top of the covers. He feels disgusting, pretty sure he looks just as awful, but..   
  
…   
  
He passes out again, despite the ‘ping’ sound coming from his phone.   
  
\---

  
What, who’s, who’s pounding on the door?!   
  
He wakes up again, to the sound of someone hammering on the front door. Without thinking, without considering who could be at the door, he drags himself out of bed, and undoes the dead bolts. As soon as he does, the doors being opened, and there's Akira on the other side.   
  
Goro opens his mouth to say something--   
  
“Why didn’t you answer me?”    
  
Akira’s mad, no, not mad, he looks fucking  **pissed,** and Goro’s still half asleep brain is trying to catch up.   
  
“..Huh?” Is all he can manage, which just seems to make Akira even  **more** pissed.   
  
“I was texting you all morning.” Akira steps into the apartment, into Goro's personal space, and every bit of his instinct is telling him to step  **back** , get  **away** from this. “Did that not even register on your radar? Not even a little blip?” 

 

He keeps stepping forward, and Goro keeps stepping back, like some kind of dance. Eventually he's going to end up backed into a corner, literally, and-

 

His back hits a wall.

 

_ Nowhere left to run, Goro. _

 

You're not helping.

 

“You can't do that to me again. You can't.” Akira's voice  **cracks** , and oh my god, is he-

 

_ He's crying. _

 

No shit, Sherlock.

 

“Do what?” His voice doesn't even sound like his own, wavy and uncertain and shaky, like a newborn baby deer learning how to walk.

 

“You can't just go on radio silence again. You can't.”

 

He shakes his head, stubbornly blinking back the wet shine in his eyes, and Goro's hit with the realization that  **he** did that.

 

He made him cry.

 

“I wasn't, I just-”

 

“Just what? Shutting me out for another month? Do you even know how worried I was?”

 

Akira pinches the bridge of his nose, and his other hand curls into a fist, and Goro's so certain he's about to get punched, squeezing his eyes shut and waiting for a bloom of pain in his stomach or face he knows has to be coming-

 

It never comes.

 

Instead, all he gets is a hand grabbing his collar, and the softest thing he's ever felt pressing against his lips.

 

He opens his eyes.

 

He's not sure what he expected, but being greeted with the sight of his friend, his only friend, pressing his lips firmly against his isn't what he expected.

 

**_Yessss.._ **

 

Inner Goro seems to  **purr** , as if he's finally getting what he wanted for a long time.

 

On instinct, he squeezes his eyes shut again, and it feels like an  **eternity** before it's over.

 

He feels Akira pull back, so he opens his eyes, only for his friend to hug him.

 

“Don't leave me again.” He whispers, squeezing tightly.

 

“I won't. Not again.” He promises, and gently rubs Akira's back…

 

He's never been good at promises, never kept them, not to Sae, promises to take meds or to try meditation or to take care of himself.

 

This is one promise he can keep.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been waiting to write this kiss forever-
> 
> Maybe 2 more chapters after this everyone! finishing up the story, n then maybe an epilogue...
> 
> pls tell me what u think!!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Goro understands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the final chapter...
> 
> as always, un'betad, and i hope you enjoy!!

They go slow. What else could they possibly do?

  
  
Akira starts showing up more and more, sometimes announced but more often not, carrying takeout or more of those cursed facemasks to add to the growing collection under Goro’s sink. He doesn’t just bring stuff, he brings affection, something Goro never thought he’d have but after a few days of it doesn’t know how he lived without it.  


 

It's always just so **casual** with him, brief touches on the small of Goro’s back as Akira’s scooting past in the tight space of the kitchen, or a gentle kiss on the cheek before he has to go back to work at the cafe, or when Akira thinks he’s asleep and presses the sweetest of kisses against Goro’s forehead.

  
  
He has no idea how he survived this long without this. Had no idea how much it hurt to be without it.

  
  
Sae had given him a hug once or twice, but she wasn’t that good at it, did it purely out of comfort or to keep him grounded. She never held him like Akira did. Like Akira does.  
It's like every time Akira touches him, even if it's the smallest little brush against him, his skin tingles and he shivers, wanting to reach out and hug Akira more than anything.

  
  
One time, he expresses that feeling to his… friend, and he just nodded knowingly.

  
  
“Touch starved.” He had said, before reaching over and running a hand through Goro’s hair, making him melt effortlessly.

  
  
That’s another thing he wondered about, was there even a term for what this was? What they were?

  
  
He had asked about that once too, but Akira had been anything but helpful.

  
  
“We’re whatever you want us to be.” He answered simply, shrugging, before kissing him goodnight.

  
  
God, the kisses. Each one makes him want to cry. There's so many different **kinds,** and Akira wields them all effortlessly. A quick kiss goodnight, the gentlest brush of lips against Goro’s knuckles when Akira’s playing at being a perfect gentleman, which always makes him giggle.

  
  
He never misses a text now, his phones perpetually on full volume, so he doesn’t have to worry about missing one. Sometimes, when Akira can’t make it over, they’ll just text for hours when both of them know full well they should be getting to bed. He always makes jokes that his cat is telling him to go to bed, which never fail to make Goro giggle. The image of a grumpy cat being fed up with it's night owl of an owner is hilarious.

  
  
After the whole incident with their first kiss (his face still turns pink when he recalls that’s particular kiss) he sees Tae again. Somehow she already knows about what happened.  
  
And if she lets him rant about how ridiculous and pretty and **perfect** Akira is for a solid twenty minutes, well, that’ll stay between them.

  
  
He finally gets up the courage to ask Akira if they can be a.. A thing. An official thing.

  
  
“Goro. You’ve been shifty all night. What’s wrong?” Akira must’ve noticed his weird behavior, pausing the movie they’d been watching. Well, Goro hadn’t been watching. Too busy worrying.

  
  
“I was just thinking.. That.. We don’t really have a label, for--”

  
  
“Labels are for suckers.” Akira interrupts briefly, “But go on.”

  
  
“..Right.” Akechi takes a deep breath before continuing. “I just thought that, I **want** to have a label. I want to have some kind of.. Claim, on you.”

  
  
…

  
  
“Ugh, that’s sounds all wrong! Can I start over?” He pinches the bridge of his nose, all frustrated. Akira quickly takes both of his hands, pressing a soothing kiss against Goro’s forehead.  
  
“I got the message, loud and clear. All you had to do was ask.”

  
  
They figured if they were going to be a thing, Goro’s existence should be made known to Akira’s friends. Which.. Was something they both stressed over. A lot. Akira doesn’t have a nervous tick, something that gives him away, but Goro could see it. Right underneath that calm and cool surface, a hurricane of doubt and worry.

  
  
Sae was reigned into their plan, though she was worried they managed to convince her with enough logic (Akira) and pleading (Akechi).

  
The day came, and.. It went better than expected.  
  
Akira explained, and they all listened, and were.. Surprisingly receptive. With both Sae and Akira vouching for him.. What else could they have done?

  
  
The two blondes, the ones he had seen briefly what seemed like a lifetime ago, were kind enough. Even though the boy seemed somewhat.. Apprehensive. Hesitant.

  
  
Sae’s sister, he recognized her from pictures, she was courteous, though maybe there was a hint of disdain.

  
  
Apparently there was another group member, someone called Haru, who had somehow learned of what was happening, and didn’t show up. From what he’s told.. Akechi can understand why.

  
  
They’re polite only because Akira is. And that’s fine. He doesn’t need to be friends with these people. All he needs is Akira.  


\---  
  
_Where…_  
  
_He opens his eyes, greeted with a blue light, and faint.. Is that opera music?_  
  
_Akechi sits up, gritting his teeth. That’s.. That’s a massive headache, right there. He rubs his temples, and it lessens a bit, but continues to be a steady throb in the back of his skull._  
_  
It seems as if he’s in a jail, of some kind. Which is strange, last thing he remembered was being on that ship, and.. No. No, don’t think about that. God, Joker, the others, they.. They had to have gotten out alright. His chest seems to tighten at the thought of Joker’s panicked yelling, as Akechi sealed his own fate._

  
_  
Perhaps this is some kind of purgatory? He’s not good enough for heaven, and certainly suited for hell. Maybe this is where he has to sit, waiting to be sorted. It feels like an eternity passes before he hears footsteps approaching._

  
_  
Getting off of the uncomfortable prison bed, he goes to the bars, grasping one in each hand and peering out into the dim._

  
_  
It's a man, a tall man, with a ridiculously long nose. If he was feeling any better at the moment, he would have laughed. But who knows, maybe that’s God, coming to judge him, and send him to where he’ll spend the rest of his eternity._

 

 _Next to the man is a much shorter girl, holding a large book, carrying it underneath her arm. The strange pair stop in front of his cell, and he can see now that she has yellow eyes. How.. unusual. Though, he supposes, this is all rather unusual. He would be more alarmed normally, but none of this is normal._  
_  
“Goro Akechi.” Long Nose’s voice is strangely high, and makes him instantly uncomfortable._

  
_  
“That’s my name, yes. Have you come to send me down to Hell?” No need to let this man dabble in pleasantries. He’s ready to go to where he needs to go._

  
_  
The man rumbles a laugh, and shakes his head. “Goodness me, no. There's a much different plan for you.”_

  
_  
The girl takes the book out from under her arm, opening it up, and looking at it, flipping through. The man continues._

  
_  
“You see, you’re a very special circumstance, my boy. Someone meddled with things that should not be meddled with, and put you in a very tight spot.”_

  
_  
“Aren’t I dead?” He really wishes this odd man would get to the point._

  
_  
Again, the man rumbles a laugh, putting Akechi even more so on edge. “No. Not yet. But you will be, if you don’t accept this very special opportunity.”_

  
_  
“..Special.. Opportunity?” He tilts his head, and the man nods._

  
_  
“I’m giving you another chance at life, my dear boy. Observe.”_

  
_  
The girl turns the book so Akechi can see it._

  
  
_“A malicious god pulled a switcheroo on you, my boy. You see, there are two parts to a person.”_  
_The books displays a picture of a cartoon figure, divided in half._  
_  
“In the simplest terms possible, one is evil, and the other is good.” The picture moves as he’s speaking, illustrating just that._

  
_  
“This malicious god took the worst parts of you, putting them on the outside, and the good parts on the inside. The awful things you did, they were you, yes, but you were manipulated into them.”_

  
_  
“So what you’re saying, is..”_

  
_  
“Yes. That little voice in the back of your head that you ignored, that you thought dead, has been the suppressed good half.” The man nods. “So I have a proposition for you.”_

  
_  
“Tell me. I don’t have all the time in the world.”_

  
_  
“On the contrary, my boy. But, I will hurry it up.”_

  
_  
He gestures to the side, and an exact double of Akechi shows himself._

  
_  
“You!” His first thought is that this is the asshole who **shot him** , the version of himself under Shido’s control, he shakes the bars, nearly blinded by rage._

  
_  
The other version of himself steps back, looking at the man, uncertain._

  
_  
“Please behave.” The small girl’s voice breaks into his thoughts. And somehow, it calms him, makes him breath and his grip on the bars releases just the smallest bit._

  
_  
“Here are the rules.” The man speaks up again. “I allow you to return to the real world.”_

  
_  
“But?”_

  
_  
“But,” He continues, “You must become that little voice in the back of your own head.”_

  
_  
“You are tired, Goro.” The girl pipes up again. “Exhausted. This is your chance to rest.”_

  
_  
“You’ve done so much.” The man adds._

  
_  
“Whats the other catch?” That can’t be it. Can’t possibly be it._

  
  
_“Your new self, the mind and body you inhabit.. Though it is your own, you will retain no memories of the past year.”_

 

_“That’s it. That’s all there is to it.” He can’t believe it. He gets a second chance._

  
_  
“That’s it. I play a fair game, unlike the entity that had manipulated you.” He nods his confirmation._

  
_  
“So I’ll just become.. A voice. In my own head. And I won’t remember anything?”_

  
_  
“You will remember. The mind you inhabit will not.” The girl confirms that too._

  
_  
He doesn’t even have to think about his answer._

  
  
_“I accept.”_  
  
_\---_  
He awakens with a quiet gasp, but unlike the other dreams he’s had, he’s left with a.. Weird content feeling.  
  
“Goro?”

  
  
Akira’s quiet voice chimes in, and he remembers where he is, Akira’s sleeping over and his comfortably in his arms. He’s safe.

  
  
_Goro?_

 

So that’s what you were, this whole time.

 

_Yep. Just you, but I went through a character arc._

 

Ha ha, very funny.

  
  
_You don’t need me anymore._

 

What do you mean?

  
  
_My jobs done. I guided you to the path you needed to go on. You’ve got the rest._

  
  
Are you leaving forever?

  
  
_I’ll always be here. If you really need me, I’ll come when you call._

  
  
For some reason, he isn’t distraught like he thought he would be. 

  
Thank you. For all you’ve done.

  
  
_It was my pleasure. Treat him well, okay?_

  
  
Of course.

  
  
“Goro?”

  
Akira’s voice interrupts his conversation, and he looks up, right into the worried eyes of the boy he loves.

  
  
“Are you okay? More nightmares?”

  
  
“No..”

  
  
“Then, what--”

  
  
“Akira?” He interrupts him, and Akira quickly shuts his mouth. “I wanna say something.”

  
  
“By all means. Go ahead.”

  
  
Goro takes a deep breath.

  
  
“I.. I think I’m going to be a lot better. From now on.”

  
  
“Oh?”

  
  
“Yeah. I.. kind of figured something out. Something that’s been bugging me for a long time.”

  
  
“Wanna tell me about it?”

  
  
“No.. not.. Not really. It’d be too hard to explain, and you wouldn’t believe it..”

  
  
Akira laughs, quietly. “You’d be surprised.”

  
  
They fall into a comfortable silence for a minute or so, Goro pressing his face against Akira's chest.

  
  
…  
“Akira?”

  
  
“Yes?”

  
  
“I think I’m going to be fine.”  
  
“Well.. maybe you ought to be more than fine.”  
  
“More than.. Fine?”

  
  
“Yeah.” Akira holds him just that little bit tighter. “You had a rough patch there, for a little while, and now you just.. Need to get it back to how it was.”  
  
“Get it back to good?” He asks, and Akira smiles. “My thoughts exactly.”

  
…  
  
“Good night, Akira.”

  
  
“Good night.”  
  
…  
  
“I love you.”

  
  
“I love you more.”

  
  
The absolute zero amount of hesitance in Akira’s voice makes his heart swell.

  
  
Nuzzling his face against his boyfriends chest, and slowly drifting back off to sleep, he can’t help but consider that sentiment.

  
  
Yeah. They’re on their way. Just gotta get it back to good.

  
  
In a way, they’re already there. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and thats a wrap!
> 
> i couldn't be more happy with how this story turned out! im so glad you've all left kudos and comments, you have no idea how much they fueled my writing, haha
> 
> this behemoth is a 63 page google doc, and i just, aaa im so happy,,,  
> please leave a comment telling me what you thought of this story in general, it would be a huge help!
> 
> (also i REALLY hope you found the reveal of what inner goro actually is to be satisfying, I think its very unique!)
> 
> another project is in the works!! stay tuned!!

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, this is based off an RP I had with my boyfriend, lots of love to him!
> 
> Also lots of love for the folks on the pegoryu server for encouraging me to write stuff.
> 
> Please leave comments telling me what you think and how i can improve, they feed me,,,


End file.
